Archive for June, 2007

I was sitting on the Milanese Metro. My biggest worries were limited to thoughts and considerations such as ‘Can the lady next to me hear my music?’, ‘I am sweaty’, ‘Where the hell is my next casting?’ and ‘Maybe she can’t hear my music, but maybe she can smell me. That’s bad’ Then, a boy walked in, without any expression on his face. Somehow, I always have difficulty estimating the age of children, but I would say this boy must have been between seven and nine. The kid turned his back towards where I was sitting, showing me the little violin case on his skinny back. Then, the most horrible sounds came out. An attempt at playing violin was the cause of this musical misery, interrupting my iPodPleasure. The metro began to ride, yet somehow the kid kept his balance, bumping his shoulders and head into the backs and butts of other people.

After living in big cities for some years now, I have noticed my heart getting harder, but this moment even my cold heart had to feel. Some others around me had trouble too, others had been living in cities longer than me. I will never forget this boy, his bright yellow shorts that were too big, basically turning them into long pants, his white shoes, oversized bright green t-shirt, and that skinny neck supporting his head with short black hair. Some people watched him, showing no emotion, others turned their backs to gain social comfort, others were faking to look somewhere else, flashing their eyes back to the violin boy. And violin boy played. The contrast of his size and bright colors against a backdrop of gray adults made him look more lonely. The have’s were watching this little have-not. The next stop, a lady walked in, saw the endearing scene, and started her smile, until she realized the pain of it. She walked away, taking her smile with her.

Sure, there are more boys and girls like this. Probably being told by their mother or father to do it (if they have parents, and I wish I could meet them, and slap the spit out of their mouths), yet somehow, this boy with his skinny neck hit me right in the gut. When he went around after playing his shitty violin, no one dropped a coin in his little opened hand. At the next stop, the expressionless face showed no sign of disappointment, hopped out, and walked to the next wagon, to play some more songs.

I find myself attempting to write about the Kenya trip, but somehow it just hasn’t taken shape in my head just yet. So, for now, I am going to skip it, and just move right along.