Archive for September, 2005

I am in Lisserbroek. Hahaha wonderful wonderful! I am here visiting my homie Leroy (you read about him before during the times of Paris and Milan) and last night we partied in Lisse. Never thought I’d actually see the place, it was crazy fun, and they still have gabbers here. Insane…Time to hit the showers.

So maybe I am getting a little anxious. You know what, on the contrary of all I used to believe in, I think I am truly not the type of person to sit on my ass for too long. I can feel it in me now, the anxiousness to get moving, get going, make something of this confusing and beautiful thing called life. Sure, I am preparing for my move to New York, but I need about half a day for that. And I’d probably be better prepared than I am now. After the storm of the last six months it was good to have some time to realize what had happened, but who needs that anyways?

I want to move on move on move on and now I am waiting. Yes, it does give me time to reorganize some priorities and realize that with some important and less important issues my thoughts and actions have not been the same. But still, it’s time to move on. Move to New York. Make or break. And breaking in this sense being nothing more than not being successful in a carreer I never thought I’d have. So even failure wouldn’t be so shocking. Would still beat waiting I suppose.

Tomorrow my mother is returning to the Flat Pancakeland so the house will be less empty. My brother and his wife are moving to India on Friday so the country will become more empty. Will miss you two.

Life now is tranquil. I’m not busy, I’m not travelling, I’m not working, I am relaxing. The status is that I am now awaiting my working permit for the US of A and it should come through in the beginning of October. Knowing how paperwork works, I hope to leave for NY somewhere in the month of October. I decided to accept it, and not get too anxious while waiting. My initial plan was to make crazy money fastfastfast and I must admit; this is still the main reason. But I have also decided to be slightly more patient, and see the upcoming year(s) also as a way to take time to develop in other fields. Like dreaming. I am a dreamer. Imagining no barriers, no pain, no money needed and finding your path in life. No, I am not on pills (hi dad), I am not too vague normally, but dreaming is an essential part of my life. The only way to survive in this business I am in is keeping the goals in mind. Goals such as continuing my education, simple things as enjoying everyday, making strangers smile when they forgot how to and chasing my biggest dream: my helping island. Some thinking sessions with Ewout, Theo and Mies helped greatly in giving it more shape. Aah what is this island you wonder? Give it time, I’ll explain at some point.

LiveNews is in dire need of change. Maybe everyone that agrees that this website needs pictures, introductions, and a beautiful coverpage should respond to this message by cyberpunching Ewout. Not as good as the real thing, but it might just help.

Time to check out my books here in the library and start reading.

Windows down music up. A dog is trying to chew the tyres. Men are trying to revive a car that died in ’82. Your beautiful is driving. Your friendship is rubbing his eyes in the back. Yesterday’s drinks turned into deserved headache and a feeling of freedom. Sweat is happily annoying your eyes. The butterfly just won’t leave the car. Your belief in seatbelts simmers since you are invincible. This week.